April 2017 – Sharondipitous Moments

Eighteen years ago some children came running to my house announcing they had found some kittens. There was a white kitty, an orange tabby, a tuxedo boy, a tortoise-shell girl and a beige female. The kids quickly told me the mommy was dead. Thinking back, I have no idea how true that was. They were all about 4 – 5 weeks old. After a couple of weeks of care and feeding, I found homes for 2 of them. The remaining 3 (orange tabby female, male tuxedo cat, and tortoise-shell female) needed names. I was in a literary frame of mind and the 2 girls were named Melanie and Katie Scarlett (GWTW). I actually considered naming the tuxedo cat Rhett Butler, but it just didn’t fit his personality. The runt of the litter when he arrived, he appeared to have dreams of becoming larger than life. As a result he became my Great Gatsby.

Melanie was the family “greeter.” She figured anyone entering our abode was there to see her. She would attempt to ingratiate herself to any new comer — never thinking they might be allergic to her. “To me? Never.”

Originally she was a rather quiet girl, but in more recent years found her voice. This often came out in anger. If I tried to arise and she was on my lap I heard, “MEOW….MEOW.” She also informed me that what I considered my side of the bed, was actually hers. with a very loud, “MEOWWWWWWW!”

Mellie (her preferred nickname) started loosing weight about a week ago. Her usual zest for eating was different, and then all of a sudden her tummy was distended. I was sure she wasn’t pregnant. Aside from being neutered, she’s 18 years old (93 in human years). We were off to the vet. After an x-ray and exam, he said, “It doesn’t look good.” He suggested I take her home and “just love her.” It’s amazing how quickly she deteriorated and on April 22 she breathed her last.

There is a down side to having pets. They give unconditional love, and are wonderful companions. However their life span in human years is predictably shorter than ours. For now, I find an emptiness I didn’t have only 72 hours ago. And, my little girl, has quite literally gone with the wind. Sleep tight Mel.

I had a birthday last week and it brought to mind 2 important women in my life. The first was my mother. The second was my mom.

“Huh?” you say. “I thought you said 2 women.”

I was born in a very conservative Midwest. At that time, a stigma existed with regard to pregnancy without benefit of marriage. Judgment and criticism had not evolved much beyond the puritanical beliefs noted in “The Scarlet Letter.”

My mother, Florence, was a self-reliant woman who supported 2 young children from a previous marriage. There was no place to hide, when she found herself pregnant.

A relative and close friend, Bonnie, approached her regarding her pregnancy. What could she do to help? After some conversation, Bonnie had a suggestion. She said, “I’ve always wanted a girl and I can’t have more children. If you have a girl, would you consider letting us adopt her?”

I don’t know how long the 2 considered this proposal before they agreed. And, that is how my “mom” came into the picture.

I grew up in a family of 4 — my mom, dad and 2 older brothers. I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I was. Despite a large age difference between my brothers and I, we’ve always been incredibly close. My parents were encouraging and supportive of my efforts. I never questioned the love that surrounded me. From the beginning, I knew I was adopted, but never knew the circumstances. Nor did I have a clue Aunt Flo was actually my birth mother. She did not want me to know and that fact remained undisclosed until her death when I was 18.

My mother gave me life. My personality is a lot like hers, as is my independent nature. In many ways I think, as strong as I am, she was so much stronger. I’ve often wondered how difficult it would be to see your child and never be able to acknowledge it.

My mom brought me into a fantastic loving family. She was a great parent and as we grew older became my best friend. She introduced me to theater, opera, and writing — things I still love. Who I am today is largely due to her.

Many years ago 2 women set forth a plan for my future. What they decided has affected every aspect of who I am. There are no words to adequately express my love for them both.