Category: Speeches

WHAT NOW?

WHAT NOW?

by sharwrite ♥ 1 Comment

As Dorothy was on her way to the Emerald City to seek help from the great and magnificent Oz, she came upon a fork in the yellow brick road. She pondered aloud, “Which way should I go?” A scarecrow was perched on a pole behind her. His arms crossed in front of him as he pointed in opposite directions, and he uttered these words, “You can go this way, or you can go that way.”

In the 1939 movie, the scarecrow laments his lack of a brain in a song. One verse goes like this:

I would not be just a Nuthin’,

My head all full of stuffin’,

My heart all full of pain,

And perhaps I’d deserve you and be

Even worthy of you

If I only had a brain.

I’m an “Oz” girl, and I either read the books or my brother read them to me as a child. What I never knew until recently, and as a child would not have understood, was L. Frank Baum (the author of The Wizard of Oz) was a political activist in the 1890s, and it is thought by many that the story is allegorical for the political, social, and economic happenings of that period.

Let’s skip forward to the present and the happenings of the last few weeks.   As of June 6, the 157th day of the year, there have been 246 mass shootings (defined as 4 or more killed or injured). Today’s political, social, and economic happenings are fraught with prejudice, hatred, and anger.

In Uvalde, 19 children and two adults were not just killed — they were slaughtered.  Some bodies were unidentifiable due to the damage done by an AR-15 and could only be identified using DNA.  One child covered herself with the blood of a fallen classmate and played dead to save her life.  Now, imagine your child in that situation.  

Countless families are grieving the loss of sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, moms and dads.  As a people, we ask, “Why?” As a nation, we ask, “How many people have to die?” When will Congress get a collective brain and DO SOMETHING!

As I traveled the yellow brick road, I would come across not a scarecrow but an octopus in my serendipitous world. Because, in answer to my question, “why is this happening?” the octopus tells me while pointing, “It’s white nationalism; no, it’s the internet and social media; no, it’s military-grade automatic weapons; no, it’s mental illness; no, it’s gun show loopholes; no, it’s the lack of universal background checks; no, it’s violent internet games.” The octopus is pointing in so many different directions; he gets tangled in his arms and can’t go with me to get a brain.  Talk about allegorical.   Are we being played?

According to polls, the tide is turning, and Americans believe universal background checks are necessary when purchasing guns. Why not start there?

I live in Florida. According to everytownresearch.org, Florida is rated 19th in the nation (1 being the best) based on the strength of its gun laws and the rate of violence.   As a state, we are still missing key laws — like background checks, assault weapons are not prohibited, ghost guns are not regulated, high capacity magazines are not prohibited – and the list goes on.  The other day, Rick Scott indicated he believed this was a “state” issue, not federal.  Well, since we instituted some stronger gun laws after Parkland,  progress has stalled, and Florida legislators appear to be actively working to weaken gun laws.  Who represents you in Tallahassee?

The events of the last couple of weeks have been, for me, exhausting.  As I hear about the thoughts and prayers for those lost, I think, “that’s nice, but what about those who will be under fire tomorrow, next week, or next month.  WHAT NOW?

Everytown.org is a community of activists:  Mom’s Demand Action, Students Demand Action, and a Survivor’s Network.  While the student community and the survivor network are limited to people of a certain age or who have survived gun violence, Mom’s Demand Action includes husbands, families, and women who may not have children.  If you go to the website, you can see what they are doing, what events are coming up in your state, and how you can help.

In politics, there are constituents and representatives. As constituents, we elect representatives to office.  Let’s make something clear here.  They work for us. Think back to the scarecrow.  Are they worthy of our votes?  Do they deserve their jobs?  

Google your senators and representatives in both the legislature and Congress. Go to their websites. You will find local, Tallahassee, and Washington phone numbers and addresses. They want your vote.  Make it clear they understand what you expect if they are to get it.  This is your “WHAT NOW” moment.  Use it wisely.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Heart Month!

It’s Heart Month!

by sharwrite ♥ 3 Comments

Editor’s Note:  As a WomenHeart Champion, I tell “My Heart Story” to educate women about heart disease.  The following message was delivered at the Alpha Kappa Alpha Professional Women’s Sorority in Miami Gardens, Florida.

On Martin Luther King’s birthday in 2016, I awoke at about 12:30 am with a horrific toothache. I got out of bed and meandered into the kitchen to get some water. I was incredibly tired. After a few moments, the pain began to subside. In my exhaustion, I thought, “I must have imagined that,” and I headed back to bed. I had just experienced two symptoms of a heart attack — referred pain in my jaw and extreme fatigue.

About 4 to 5 hours later, the “toothache” returned. I wondered, “Could this be heart-related?” My birth mother had died of a heart attack at the age of 48.  It was early in the morning, but in this marvelous age of technology, Dr. Google is an on-call go to. My diagnosis was that I may be or may not be having a heart attack. Deciding not to rely on indecision, I contacted my physician as soon as her office opened. She said, “Go to the ER and don’t drive yourself.”  The Emergency Room physician confirmed I had indeed had a heart attack.

Fast forward almost one year to the date. I was exercising in Cardiac Rehab when I noticed some pressure in my jaw. It wasn’t pain — just pressure or heaviness in my lower jaw. I asked a nurse to take my blood pressure. It was elevated, but for someone who was working out, that would be expected. I explained what had happened and was told to contact my cardiologist.

Within a week, I was in the Cardiac Cath lab again, my left anterior descending artery (sometimes referred to as the widow maker) was 95% occluded and was stented. I had avoided a second heart attack.

Our bodies are truly remarkable.  They talk to us — sometimes in unusual ways.  Heart attacks vary in intensity and symptomatically.  While some come on suddenly, many have warning signs, hours, days, or even weeks in advance. Here are some symptoms:

    • Pressure, pain or tightness in your chest, arms, neck, or jaw
    • Nausea, indigestion, heartburn, or abdominal pain
    • Shortness of breath
    • Cold sweat
    • Fatigue
    • Lightheadedness or sudden dizziness

Do not ignore these signs.

I get it, we are all busy. Perhaps you have a stressful job, or you’re taking care of the family (often both), and for many in the sandwich generation, you’re taking care of parents.  Women find themselves focused on everyone and everything else, disregarding signals our bodies are sending.

Here is my message to all of you. The next time your body speaks to you, pay attention, whether it’s SHOUTING at, or whispering to you, LISTEN! You may not get a second chance.

BODY LANGUAGE

BODY LANGUAGE

by sharwrite ♥ 2 Comments

The definition of body language is, “the process of communicating nonverbally through conscious or unconscious gestures and movements.”  But, I’m thinking of something different.  I’m here to discuss how your body speaks to you.  If you are sick, your body might ache, and your temperature rise.  These are straightforward messages from your body.  However, sometimes, the language is more subtle.  Let me tell you a story to illustrate what I mean.  It’s Martin Luther King’s birthday, 2016 about 12:39 am.

I awoke in extreme pain.  I had a toothache.  It’s the kind of pain you feel when you require a root canal.  I got out of bed, walked into the kitchen and got a drink of water.  As I wandered around the house, the pain began to subside.  I was exhausted and asked myself, “Did I really feel that?”  I finally convinced myself it was my imagination and went back to bed.

A few hours later, the pain returned.  I’ve undergone a root canal, and I know the pain doesn’t come and go.  I was also aware that when having a heart attack, one can experience referred pain.  Instead of feeling pain in your chest, it can be in your head, neck, arms, or back.  I figured I’d better check this out — and I did.  I went straight to Dr. Google.  I looked up angina.  There’s stable and unstable angina, the latter indicating a heart attack.

Not having graduated from medical school, but considering myself an excellent diagnostician, I determined I did NOT have a heart attack.  Mind you, I had just read on the Mayo Clinic site that unstable angina occurs even at rest (I was asleep) and often is unexpected.

My doctor’s office would be open in a couple of hours, and I decided to call her.  In the meantime, I took a shower, dressed, and worked in my office.

I explained to the receptionist I believed I might be having angina.  The doctor got on the phone and asked for my symptoms.  I told her what had occurred and she said, “Go to the Emergency Room.”

I countered with, “Well, I thought I’d just come to your office.”

“I don’t have time to drive you to the ER.  Go to the hospital … and don’t drive yourself.”

After some blood tests, chest x-rays, and EKGs, a young ER doctor came to the room I was in and said, “You’ve had a heart attack.”  Quite frankly, he looked to me to be about 19.  What could he possibly know?  Apparently, more than I.  Within minutes a very tall cardiologist walked in and said, “You’ve had a heart attack.  We won’t know the severity until you have a cardiac catheterization.”

Ten hours had passed since I felt the first pain.  Also, I’d experienced fatigue, another symptom of a heart attack.  What did I do as I was having a heart attack?  I went back to bed, diagnosed myself, worked in my office, and yes, took a shower!  Had my occlusion been in a different artery, those decisions could have been fatal.

Like many victims of a heart attack, I looked at the event and my quick recovery and figured, that’s it — I’m well.  I actually thought, “Is that all there is to a heart attack?”  What I didn’t consider is the cause and effect aspect.   The heart attack was fixed with a stent. However, the underlying cause, cardiovascular disease, was still with me.

Almost one year to the date of my event, I was exercising more rigorously than usual in Cardiac Rehab when I began feeling some pressure in my jaw.  No pain, just pressure.  I stopped and asked someone to take my blood pressure.  It was elevated from exercise, but nothing concerning.  So I continued my routine.  As I was leaving, I mentioned what had happened to a nurse.  She said to call my doctor.  I did and was told to come right in.  My doctor, in turn, called my cardiologist and within a week I was back in the cath lab.

I had somehow avoided a second heart attack.  However, my Left Anterior Descending Artery  (a/k/a WidowMaker) was 95% occluded.  This event was potentially worse than the earlier heart attack.

Your body speaks to you.  I pretty much ignored my first cardiac encounter.  Fortunately, even though the second message was much more subtle, I listened.  Quick action saved my life.

Here are my rules to live by.  First, listen to your body.  Second, know your numbers:

Blood Pressure:  The new “Normal” is less than 120/80

Triglycerides:  Normal is less than 150mg/dl

Cholesterol:  LDL less than 70 (it was 100); HDL more than 40

Third, get some exercise.  You don’t need a gym.  Go for a walk in the park or if the weather is not conducive, go to a mall.  The American Heart Association recommends 30 minutes of exercise daily.

Oh, and if you’re still smoking, STOP!

Our bodies speak to us when something is wrong, in a language that is sometimes confusing or subtle.  In our busy worlds, we tend to ignore the message or pull a Scarlett O’Hara saying, “I just can’t think about this now.  I’ll think about it tomorrow.”  But here’s the rub: tomorrows aren’t guaranteed.

Editors Note:  This was a speech given at Miracle Mile Toastmasters on March 7, 2019.

 

The Quality of Bending Easily Without Breaking!

The Quality of Bending Easily Without Breaking!

by sharwrite ♥ 7 Comments

A quote by Maynard Webb caught my eye some time ago.  He stated, “Flexibility has become a modern-day value.  But flexibility comes with a cost.”  

It brought me back to a time when a friend and I attended yoga classes.  Rosalie and I were thirty-something, and our instructor was perhaps in her 60’s.  She was amazing!  Just watching the spring in her step, her agility and “stretchiness.” Is that a word?  Whatever!  She had stretchiness!  Watching her was inspiring.  

While I’m not an expert on kinesiology, it’s known that as we age our joints stiffen, and that lovely suppleness of youth is but a memory.  I was experiencing this.

I’m not Elizabeth Gilbert, and it’s unlikely that I will go to an ashram as she wrote about in her book, ‘Eat, Pray, Love.’  But thinking again of my former instructor, it occurred to me going to a yoga class was an excellent idea.  I googled Yoga and found a Hatha Yoga school not too far from my house.  And surprise, a beginners’ class was scheduled to start in one week!

On day one, I found myself with some ladies ranging in age from twenty to perhaps 60 or 70.  We were told some movements tend to be effortless, while others are arduous.  We were assured that if we’d stick with it, we would see improvement.

The first thing we were asked to do was sit cross-legged, while maintaining good posture, with knees bent and opened wide like a book. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  I watched the others in the class.  Their knees were not only opened wide but almost touching the floor.  Mine were up to my ears.  It was suggested that I sit on some towels, elevating my bum, so my knees appeared to be closer to the floor.  Somehow that seemed like cheating, but at least my “pose” looked more similar to everyone else’s.  Of course, I appeared to be a foot taller than everyone else in the room as well.

We proceeded with several poses.  Funny, I had no recollection of pain during my earlier classes.  Our instructor explained that most of us had spent many years sitting, standing and walking incorrectly.  “As a result, some of these poses may be difficult. But don’t worry, just stick with it.”  Good grief!  I had so many years of lousy sitting, standing and walking to make up for!

And the poses continued:  the mountain, the chair, the triangle, downward facing dog — some more difficult than others.  I don’t recall perspiration dripping down my face in past classes, but I was beginning to feel it now. Thinking back on my earlier experience, we glided almost ballet-like from one position to another.  There was nothing rhythmic in my movements now.   Then we were on the floor again —  I in an un-lotus like pose.  I panicked thinking, “Oh my God, my hips are locking, where is the exit?” 

Perhaps, the instructor saw the look of terror on my face, because she asked us to rise again and that’s when it happened.  When you’re as stiff as I was, getting up can be a challenge.  I didn’t fall, because I was able to catch myself by jamming the second toe of my right foot into the floor.  There was PAIN!  Just as I was about to let out a gasping cry, I saw the sign:

“NO WHINING PLEASE”

“What?  No whining, please?  This place must be run by sadists!”

I looked around for an escape.

Our instructor, however, was on to another pose — the ‘Warrior Pose.’  She tried to assist this now wounded warrior by moving my left foot, putting more pressure on the toe on my right foot.  She didn’t understand that I couldn’t do that and breathe at the same time.

The hour was almost over.  The instructor said,“It’s time for the ‘Corpse Pose.’”  CORPSE POSE?  They actually have a designated pose for a dead person?  I figured they were going to put me out of my misery.   Lying on my back, my toe throbbing, I awaited my fate.  Fortunately, the Corpse Pose is a time for meditation.  I would have enjoyed it but was in so much pain, I couldn’t think of anything else.  Then I heard a soft voice say, “Namaste.”  The class had ended.

I hoped my ‘corpse toe’ could be revived.  Too bad there was no video of me leaving the studio.  Limping and appearing to be wearing some kind of body armor, I was the personification of rigidity.

Good old Maynard Webb.  He was right.  Achieving flexibility does come with a cost.  Of course, he was talking about working in the age of the internet.  For me, well it came with a broken toe.  

For my next act, I think I’ll take up Tai Chi.  

Editor’s Note:  You may recall this story from back in 2014.  Last Wednesday, I was asked to fill in as a speaker at Toastmasters.   So reworked the original article to a speech format.  Hope you enjoyed this version.

DO AS I SAY…

DO AS I SAY…

by sharwrite ♥ 4 Comments

Editor’s Note:  Following is a speech given at Miracle Mile Toastmasters, February 8, 2018

WomanHeart is The National Coalition of Women WITH Heart Disease.  If someone had asked me 5 or 10 years ago, if I would be active in an organization that had as a criterion for membership having a disease, I would have said, “Not me.”  Yet here I am.  Every WomenHeart Champion has heart disease, and each of us has a story.

Let’s get personal.  On January 18, 2016, I awoke with the most horrible pain in my jaw.  I couldn’t believe it.  It felt as if I needed a root canal.  I looked at the clock, it was 12:30 am.  I went into the kitchen to get some water.  As I walked, the pain began to subside.  I was exhausted and thought, “Did I imagine that?  I must have.”  I went back to bed.

About 4 hours later, it happened again.  I woke up with severe pain in my jaw.  I’m smart enough to know that root canal pain does not come and then go on its own.  What to do?  Have you heard of Google?  Yep, that’s what I did, I googled angina.  What I read said it could be a heart attack, but then again, it might not.  Being the outstanding diagnostician that I am, I deduced it was not.  My doctor would be in the office in a couple of hours.  I decided to wait (yet again) and call her.  She said, “Go directly to the ER, do not pass go, do not collect $200.”

Ten and a half hours after the first pain, I was diagnosed.  I’d had a heart attack.

Fast forward 1 year.  I was at Cardiac Rehab exercising.  I was pushing up the speed on a treadmill.  I noticed some pressure in my jaw.  No pain – just pressure.  I stopped and had someone check my blood pressure.  It was okay.  I continued with my routine and only as I was leaving did I mention the mild discomfort I’d felt.  The nurse looked at me as if I had 2 heads.  “Why didn’t you tell me?  You need to see your doctor right away.”  I called my internist and explained what had happened.  The next thing I knew I was in her office where the staff told me several times all would be OK.  Oddly enough I wasn’t alarmed until the third, “you’ll be OK.”  The next day I was at the cardiologist’s office, the next week in the cath lab.  I didn’t have a heart attack.  However, my Left Anterior Descending Artery (aka the Widowmaker) was 95% occluded, making it far more dangerous than the attack I’d had a year earlier.

What can you learn from my experience?  You know the old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.”  What were my actions? I ignored symptoms, waited far too long to get help, even worse I diagnosed myself!

Considering that heart disease is the number 1 killer of men and women in the United States, here is what you should do:

Know your risks (some over which you have no control):  If you are African-American, Hispanic or Native American, or if you have a family history, you are at higher risk for developing heart disease.

Know your risks Part 2 (you can change these):  If you’re a diabetic, if you are overweight or if exercise is lacking in your day — make changes to your routine, and diet.  And for heaven’s sake STOP SMOKING!

Know your numbers:  Is your cholesterol too high?  What about your HDL and LDL?  How are your triglycerides?  Do you have hypertension?  Remember the guidelines have changed.

All of these risks and numbers apply to everyone in this room.  You may ask, “But, what is WomenHeart?  Why is there a need for an organization just for women with heart disease?”

Let’s look at some facts and statistics.  While 1 in 31 American women die of breast cancer (which is far too many) 1 in 3 dies of heart disease.  Since 1984, more women than men have died from heart disease.  Let’s say a woman goes to the best cardiologist on the planet.  And that cardiologist gives the VERY BEST advice available.  The reality is that “best advice” may not be the best at all.  Doctors recommendations are often tied to the results of clinical trials.  Today, women comprise less than 27% of the participants in cardiac trials.  Women are not little men.  Their biology is different.

Women’s symptoms during a heart attack are different as well.  Yes, they may have chest pain, but they are likely to present with various indicators such as nausea, feeling light-headed, having extreme fatigue, pain or discomfort in the arm or shoulder, neck or back — and don’t forget my symptoms — pain in the jaw.  With my second event there was NO PAIN — merely pressure in my jaw.  Is it any wonder that women are often misdiagnosed?

The most important thing to do if you have any symptoms of a heart attack is to go the emergency room.  Time is of the essence.  Call 911 or have someone take you.  Do not drive yourself.

Many of you work for companies in this area or belong to organizations that meet locally.  WomenHeart has a program called WomenHeart@Work.  We can design a power point meeting for members of your group, giving each participant facts about taking charge of their heart health.  I have some of our “Bags of Courage”  with information on protecting your heart health as well as my WomenHeart Business Card.  Call me, and we will schedule a presentation, which will be a gift to your company, its employees or members of your organization.

I implore you to “do as I say.”  Education can save the life of a colleague, friend, teammate or partner.  Take this life-saving opportunity.