Category: My Circle of Life

GONE WITH THE WIND

GONE WITH THE WIND

by sharwrite ♥ 4 Comments

Eighteen years ago some children came running to my house announcing they had found some kittens.  There was a white kitty, an orange tabby, a tuxedo boy, a tortoise-shell girl and a beige female.  The kids quickly told me the mommy was dead.  Thinking back, I have no idea how true that was.  They were all about 4 – 5 weeks old.  After a couple of weeks of care and feeding, I found homes for 2 of them.  The remaining 3  (orange tabby female, male tuxedo cat, and tortoise-shell female) needed names.  I was in a literary frame of mind and the 2 girls were named Melanie and Katie Scarlett (GWTW).  I actually considered naming the tuxedo cat Rhett Butler, but it just didn’t fit his personality. The runt of the litter when he arrived, he appeared to have dreams of becoming larger than life.  As a result he became my Great Gatsby.

Melanie was the family “greeter.”  She figured anyone entering our abode was there to see her.  She would attempt to ingratiate herself to any new comer — never thinking they might be allergic to her.  “To me?  Never.”

Originally she was a rather quiet girl, but in more recent years found her voice.  This often came out in anger.  If I tried to arise and she was on my lap I heard, “MEOW….MEOW.”   She also informed me that what I considered my side of the bed, was actually hers. with a very loud, “MEOWWWWWWW!”

Mellie (her preferred nickname) started loosing weight about a week ago.  Her usual zest for eating was different,   and then all of a sudden her tummy was distended.  I was sure she wasn’t pregnant.  Aside from being neutered, she’s 18 years old (93 in human years).  We were off to the vet.  After an x-ray and exam, he said, “It doesn’t look good.”  He suggested I take her home and “just love her.”  It’s amazing how quickly she deteriorated and on April 22 she breathed her last.

There is a down side to having pets.  They give unconditional love, and are wonderful companions.  However their life span in human years is predictably shorter than ours.  For now, I find an emptiness I didn’t have only 72 hours ago.  And, my little girl, has quite literally gone with the wind.  Sleep tight Mel.

MELANIE

TWO WOMEN

TWO WOMEN

by sharwrite ♥ 4 Comments

I had a birthday last week and it brought to mind 2 important women in my life.  The first was my mother.  The second was my mom.

“Huh?” you say.  “I thought you said 2 women.”

I was born in a very conservative Midwest.   At that time, a stigma existed with regard to pregnancy without benefit of marriage.  Judgment and criticism had not evolved much beyond the puritanical beliefs noted in “The Scarlet Letter.”

My mother, Florence, was a self-reliant woman who supported 2 young children from a previous marriage.  There was no place to hide, when she found herself pregnant.

A relative and close friend, Bonnie, approached her regarding her pregnancy.  What could she do to help?  After some conversation, Bonnie had a suggestion.  She said, “I’ve always wanted a girl and I can’t have more children.  If you have a girl, would you consider letting us adopt her?”

I don’t know how long the 2 considered this proposal before they agreed.  And, that is how my “mom” came into the picture.

I grew up in a family of 4 — my mom, dad and 2 older brothers.  I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I was.  Despite a large age difference between my brothers and I, we’ve always been incredibly close.  My parents were encouraging and supportive of my efforts.  I never questioned the love that surrounded me.  From the beginning, I knew I was adopted, but never knew the circumstances.  Nor did I have a clue Aunt Flo was actually my birth mother.  She did not want me to know and that fact remained undisclosed until her death when I was 18.

My mother gave me life.  My personality is a lot like hers, as is my independent nature.  In many ways I think, as strong as I am, she was so much stronger.  I’ve often wondered how difficult it would be to see your child and never be able to acknowledge it.

My mom brought me into a fantastic loving family.  She was a great parent and as we grew older became my best friend.   She introduced me to theater, opera, and writing — things I still love.  Who I am today is largely due to her.

Many years ago 2 women set forth a plan for my future.  What they decided has affected every aspect of who I am.  There are no words to adequately express my love for them both.

 

Buona Notte Bella Mia

Buona Notte Bella Mia

by sharwrite ♥ 4 Comments

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Many years ago, during a visit, my mother looked at a furry object on the floor and said, “What’s this?” Mother had a problem with my pride of kitties — and she realized this was an addition.  I responded, “it’s a cat.”  She rolled her eyes, as she said, “I can see that, but why?”

I sighed as I replied, “His name is Fred and before you get upset about another cat, how could I get rid of a cat that’s named after your father and looks like your husband.”  She shook her head and walked away. Before the end of the visit, mom acknowledged, “You know, he does look like Wally.”

Many years later, my neighbor knocked at the door and asked me about 2 kittens in front of my house. One had Siamese markings the other was a little Calico.  I explained they were not mine and he said, “we were concerned because we don’t want our dog to get them,”  which explains 2 additions to my pride.  That was more than 16 years ago.

The Calico had 2 adorable features —  a little triangle marking on her nose, and she’s the first cat I’ve seen that had not just green, but green/hazel eyes.  They reminded me of mom’s eyes.   At her arrival, most of my kitties had taken on the names of characters in Gone With The Wind.  This little girl became Belle or sometimes because she was so pretty, (and I am Italian after all) Bella.  Hmmm and mom was a belle as well.  She was Bonnibell and my little girl was of course a “bonnie” little Belle.  I can imagine mom rolling her eyes at that one.

Belle is going on 17 years of age.  According to a calculator I googled, the completion of 2 years in a cat’s life is  equivalent to 25 years for us, then the difference drops significantly. But no matter how you figure it my little girl is older than I!

It’s become apparent in the last few weeks that my Belle was not feeling well.  She’s been a great little girl, a wonderful companion, and I love her more than words can describe.   After discussions with my veterinarian I had to acknowledge, it was time to let her go in peace.

Today I was with her at the doctors office.  Saying goodbye is difficult, so as she drifted off, I whispered quietly ….

 Buona notte Bella mia

Ciao bella mi amore

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

by sharwrite ♥ 1 Comment

Have you ever felt you were “walking on air?”  I had the experience early this year.

January came with new health insurance and a new doctor.  As expected a number of diagnostic tests were prescribed.  Baptist Hospital was offering a nominally priced CAT scan for a special study they were conducting on people who were smokers or former smokers.  Since I fell into the latter category, my doctor recommended it.  “What the heck, why not?” was my response.

At my next doctor’s appointment, she noted there was a ‘lesion’ that looked suspicious.  She had discussed the results with the radiologist and they recommended I see a breast surgeon.  “But,” I said, “my mammogram didn’t show up anything.”  The CAT scan won.

The surgeon performed an ultrasound and as I watched the screen, a big black spot appeared.  It was not in my breast but a lymph gland.

“OMG!”  I was officially experiencing “high anxiety.”  A needle biopsy was scheduled for the following week.  After spending the longest weekend on earth, I had the procedure.  As he probed the area, I heard the doctor say, “Boy is someone going to be happy.”  It had aspirated!  I looked at the screen and the large black spot was gone.

As I left his office I experienced that sensation of “walking on air.”  I didn’t walk — I floated to my car — my feet never touched the ground!

THE CAT FAMILY

Everything changes but somehow remains the same. Last year at this time I had 8 kitties.   However my dear boy Ashley passed away in February.

A few months later, Clouseau, came home with a little girl.  He said in French (of course), “Maman, je l’ai trouve un petit chat.  Son nome est Gabrielle.  Puis-je le garder?  (rough translation: I found a little cat.  Her name is Gabrielle.  Can I keep her?)

CLOUSEAU PLEADS FOR GABY
CLOUSEAU PLEADS FOR GABY

I looked into those pleading eyes and said, “Non!”  My resolve lasted about 5 minutes.

Initially, it was perfect.  He played with Gaby and stopped tormenting the other cats.  The vet noted she was a bit older than I originally thought.  Time for neutering.  Poor Clouseau, looked everywhere for his lost love?  Soon it was time for her return.  As he waited at her carrier door she exited.  She had a cone protector around her neck.

THE CONEHEAD ARRIVES
THE CONEHEAD ARRIVES

Clouseau took one look at her.  As he ran away.  I heard him exclaim, “Argh … quel est ce.  Elle est un conehead etranger.” (Argh … what is this.  She is an alien conehead).  He’s now talking divorce.

THE GOLDEN YEARS

Yes, “the golden years” are upon me.  You know, those years full of lovely trips, spending time with friends, taking up new hobbies and not having to get up at the crack of dawn.  I’ve found however, whether by habit or just having to get up in the middle of the night for a potty run, I’m still up by 5 am.  As for the gold, that’s to pay for fixing or replacing body parts that apparently were not designed to last for more than 70 years.

As I write this, I have just had cataract surgery.  Pre-op is not just those few minutes before surgery.  It is the culmination of heightened apprehension which begins the day you find out you are going to have surgery and concludes when you enter a very sterile room where a smiling nurse asks, “how are you?”

I wanted to say, “I’m scared as hell and let me out of here.”  What came out (in a childlike voice) was, “Fine.”

A Valium brought my blood pressure down to something less than frightening.  All went fine.  I was so good they gave me a cookie!  So far no one has mentioned “co-pay.”   But I know they will.

JUST CALL ME PREZ

As most of you know I’ve been active with my Toastmasters Club and this year is no exception.  In July I became president and now I’m busier than ever.

INSTALLATION AS PRESIDENT MIRACLE MILE TOASTMASTERS
INSTALLATION AS PRESIDENT
MIRACLE MILE TOASTMASTERS

Might this be a new beginning for me?  Should I consider taking on “The Donald?”

As I close, my little 32 feet send their love

Gatsby, Scarlett, Melanie, Belle, Daisy, Magic, Clouseau, Gabrielle

and of course so do I!

MY BFF IS GONE

MY BFF IS GONE

by sharwrite ♥ 1 Comment

Once upon a time many years ago, two little girls were growing up in a magical place called “Chicagoland.”

They were friends throughout elementary and high school and, although they went to different colleges in different states, remained close.    After college, they returned home and began working.  One day Rina asked Shari, “If I can get a job teaching in California, would you move there with me.”  CALIFORNIA!!!!  OMG!!!!  And so the adventure began.

Rina was offered a job and a few months later a caravan of three cars, Rina’s mom and dad in one, Rina in her Mustang and Shari in her Barracuda headed to the girls “promised land” — Palo Alto.  They quickly found an apartment not far from where Rina would be teaching.  It was nice, but renters downstairs, didn’t like them walking around after 8 pm, so they ventured out and found The California Oaks, in Mountain View — their new home.

The Oaks was great.   All the residents were in their twenties or thirties, as were hundreds of renters up and down California Street.  Yep, Mountain View was the place to be.  Every weekend there was a party somewhere.  And, when the girls weren’t in town, the two nomads traveled to Monterey, Santa Cruz, Napa Valley, Pebble Beach, went sailing at the UC Berkeley Yacht Club, and were spectators at the Laguna Seca races.

A favorite for them was Nepenthe in Big Sur, where they could be found  sitting outside at the fire pit,  enjoying a spectacular view of the Pacific.  And then there were the people!  Once, Rina pointed out a woman knitting a little chin cap for the man with her (yes, that was a little cap that fit over his chin!).  He was dressed in leather and appeared to be directly descended from Eric The Red.  At one point, he stood up, looked out to sea and bellowed, “The sea is calm.”  No one knew why, no one cared, it was part of the charm that is Nepenthe.

Their first party at the Oaks was nerve wracking.  It was, as all the weekend parties, BYOB.  The party started slowly.  They  wondered if people would show up.  However, within moments of that thought, they were surrounded by a huge crowd!  Where did they all come from?  The one-bedroom apartment was large, but OMG….there had to be over 75 people in there.  The girls didn’t have a clue who they were, and they were everywhere….in the bedroom, on the deck, in the kitchen.  You  couldn’t walk through a room without everyone having to shift.  Finally the party began to thin out.  Their first question was, “where are the knobs to the TV?”  The second was, “why would someone take the knobs to the TV?”

The next day they  found the TV knobs in the bedroom, and enough bottles of liquor (hidden in cupboards and closets throughout the apartment) to open their own bar.

Just up the freeway, there was the beautiful City by the Bay –  San Francisco!  They listened to bagpipers at the Edinburgh Castle, while drinking beer and eating Fish and Chips from Old Chelsea’s ‘round the corner; or had dinner at Ghiardelli Square, afterward heading to the Buena Vista for Irish Coffee.

During this time, Rina met a Navy lieutenant, Matt,  from nearby Moffett Naval Air Station.  After a couple of years, he was transferred to NAS Pensacola, Florida and shortly after moving, he proposed.  The girls adventure was coming to an end.  Rina left for Chicagoland where she and Matt were married. Shari went back briefly,  then went on to Europe before returning to California.  Later they flip flopped, with Matt and Rina going back to the Bay Area, and Shari moving to Miami, Florida.  In spite of the distance, a telephone call was all it took to start up just where they left off — which is how it works for best friends.

As you may have guessed this is, in part, my story.  A few weeks ago, Rina passed away.  There are so many places, people and events that have been tucked away in my mind which are flooding to the surface. I recall the little girl, the teenager, my “roomie.”  Mostly, I’ve found loosing a BFF leaves an overwhelming hole in ones heart.  Fortunately I’ve found magnificent memories to fill it.

So to my Best Friend, “Thanks for the Memories.”