THE DATE FROM HELL

THE DATE FROM HELL

by sharwrite ♥ 5 Comments

This week on “The Chew,” the hosts discussed a new device for the person on a date called – “les miserables.”  It’s a bracelet that can be worn by either men or women.  When needed, the wearer merely taps it, which signals his or her cell phone to ring.  Once answered, an emergency is feigned and the date magically ends!  This brought back memories of an evening  I had years ago.  An acquaintance suggested I go out with someone from her office.  He and I were the same nationality so (using her fractured logic) she knew we would be perfect together.

There were omens the evening would be disastrous.  While getting ready, the zipper of my dress got stuck.  I ran  to my neighbors to get help, and while she was fixing the problem, her dear little dog peed on my leg.  I didn’t have another pair of hose, so back home, stuck my leg in the shower.  Of course my hair and dress got wet in the process, so I had to change clothes, then dry my hair, leg and hose with the hair drier,

The door bell rang and there he was.  Apparently he had been told him that if a little bit of after shave is good, the entire bottle is even better.  OMG!  My asthma was kicking in.

Rule number one for blind dates is: meet for coffee or drinks.  That can take 20 minutes, maybe less.  Unfortunately this was a dinner date.  I could be held captive for more than an hour.  Over dinner, he suggested so many plans for future dates.  My responses were “oh really,” or  “perhaps,” or “that sounds interesting.”  Trust me, nothing he said was interesting!

After dinner he ordered espresso and Sambuca and that’s when he uttered words I will never forget (and believe me I’ve tried).   He must have gotten the line from some Grade B (or Z) movie.  He leaned back, one arm over the back of his chair and said, “Some day, I don’t know when, but some day, I’m going to make love to like you’ve never been made love to before.”

Seldom have I ever been rendered speechless.  I just stared at him.  While my voice was silenced, my brain was still working. It kept shouting, “Only if you’re a necrophiliac!”

As he drove me home, my mind was racing.  “How can I get rid of him.”   Where was that bracelet from the future?  The “goodnight kiss” was a struggle of epic proportion which I refer to as “the dance.”  He wanted the evening to last, I wanted it to end.  I tried moving away, he kept following. I tried pushing him away, he held firm.  So, with a quick cha cha side step, I moved forward, twisted and swung my foot around driving the heel of my shoe right through his sock and into his ankle!  “Oh, I’m so sorry.  Are you OK?  You better go home and soak  that.”

Then quickly I moved to the “piece de resistance!”  A quick pirouette, and I unlocked the door, with a second spin moved inside my apartment, closed the door and locked it again.  The judges from “Dancing with the Stars” would have been proud!

The date from hell was over!

MY BFF IS GONE

MY BFF IS GONE

by sharwrite ♥ 1 Comment

Once upon a time many years ago, two little girls were growing up in a magical place called “Chicagoland.”

They were friends throughout elementary and high school and, although they went to different colleges in different states, remained close.    After college, they returned home and began working.  One day Rina asked Shari, “If I can get a job teaching in California, would you move there with me.”  CALIFORNIA!!!!  OMG!!!!  And so the adventure began.

Rina was offered a job and a few months later a caravan of three cars, Rina’s mom and dad in one, Rina in her Mustang and Shari in her Barracuda headed to the girls “promised land” — Palo Alto.  They quickly found an apartment not far from where Rina would be teaching.  It was nice, but renters downstairs, didn’t like them walking around after 8 pm, so they ventured out and found The California Oaks, in Mountain View — their new home.

The Oaks was great.   All the residents were in their twenties or thirties, as were hundreds of renters up and down California Street.  Yep, Mountain View was the place to be.  Every weekend there was a party somewhere.  And, when the girls weren’t in town, the two nomads traveled to Monterey, Santa Cruz, Napa Valley, Pebble Beach, went sailing at the UC Berkeley Yacht Club, and were spectators at the Laguna Seca races.

A favorite for them was Nepenthe in Big Sur, where they could be found  sitting outside at the fire pit,  enjoying a spectacular view of the Pacific.  And then there were the people!  Once, Rina pointed out a woman knitting a little chin cap for the man with her (yes, that was a little cap that fit over his chin!).  He was dressed in leather and appeared to be directly descended from Eric The Red.  At one point, he stood up, looked out to sea and bellowed, “The sea is calm.”  No one knew why, no one cared, it was part of the charm that is Nepenthe.

Their first party at the Oaks was nerve wracking.  It was, as all the weekend parties, BYOB.  The party started slowly.  They  wondered if people would show up.  However, within moments of that thought, they were surrounded by a huge crowd!  Where did they all come from?  The one-bedroom apartment was large, but OMG….there had to be over 75 people in there.  The girls didn’t have a clue who they were, and they were everywhere….in the bedroom, on the deck, in the kitchen.  You  couldn’t walk through a room without everyone having to shift.  Finally the party began to thin out.  Their first question was, “where are the knobs to the TV?”  The second was, “why would someone take the knobs to the TV?”

The next day they  found the TV knobs in the bedroom, and enough bottles of liquor (hidden in cupboards and closets throughout the apartment) to open their own bar.

Just up the freeway, there was the beautiful City by the Bay –  San Francisco!  They listened to bagpipers at the Edinburgh Castle, while drinking beer and eating Fish and Chips from Old Chelsea’s ‘round the corner; or had dinner at Ghiardelli Square, afterward heading to the Buena Vista for Irish Coffee.

During this time, Rina met a Navy lieutenant, Matt,  from nearby Moffett Naval Air Station.  After a couple of years, he was transferred to NAS Pensacola, Florida and shortly after moving, he proposed.  The girls adventure was coming to an end.  Rina left for Chicagoland where she and Matt were married. Shari went back briefly,  then went on to Europe before returning to California.  Later they flip flopped, with Matt and Rina going back to the Bay Area, and Shari moving to Miami, Florida.  In spite of the distance, a telephone call was all it took to start up just where they left off — which is how it works for best friends.

As you may have guessed this is, in part, my story.  A few weeks ago, Rina passed away.  There are so many places, people and events that have been tucked away in my mind which are flooding to the surface. I recall the little girl, the teenager, my “roomie.”  Mostly, I’ve found loosing a BFF leaves an overwhelming hole in ones heart.  Fortunately I’ve found magnificent memories to fill it.

So to my Best Friend, “Thanks for the Memories.”

SHARONDIPITOUS WHAT??

SHARONDIPITOUS WHAT??

by sharwrite ♥ 1 Comment

Almost two years ago, I did it — I RETIRED!  Prior to that moment, I thought, “what will I do?”  Start a blog was number one.  Remodel the bathroom and replace the deck in the backyard.  Then there was the reminder, “don’t forget to clean out all the ‘stuff’ in my office,  and get back to the gym.”  Yep, that was my list and I was raring to go.  First the blog.

While at a relatives wedding in Maui, my grand-nephew (I think that’s what they call the child of your niece) entered the room, looked at me and said, “Well if it isn’t Sharondippity.”  OMG!  Simple, small, accidental and unexpected.  There it was, a name for my blog SHARONDIPITOUS MOMENTS.

You see I believe in serendipity — those accidental moments when desirable discoveries are made.  My style of writing is  a commentary of events, ideas, etc., most often in a humorous way, which would compliment the blog name.

After months of contemplating retirement, the inevitable first day arrived.  I slept in!  For several months thereafter, I did the same thing.  People would ask me, “what are you doing?”  I had no answer.  Over the years, I’ve had some pretty interesting occupations, so I’ve always had an answer to that question.  But there I was trying to come up with something … anything!

I rejoined my old Toastmasters Club, becoming active as an officer, which led to writing a weekly review of the previous meeting.  Thank goodness for our membership.  There was no end to finding entertaining, educational, thoughtful and humorous topics to write about.  The creative juices started flowing.

One thing led to another and we realized our club website required updating.  I hadn’t a clue about how to work on website design.  A fellow Toastmaster led me to a class and here I am.  I can work on the clubs website and start my own!  Hmmm, there appears to be a serendipitous theme going on here.

This is my blog.  It will cover my post retirement journey, as well as special memories from the past, and a myriad of opportunities that lie ahead.  Cooking will be involved, because frankly I love it; pets (particularly cats) will be mentioned, because I love mine; and I suspect there will be many other topics.  Hope you enjoy my journey.  Let me hear from you.